Today is April Fools Day, a holiday that encourages us to place family, friends, and strangers in embarrassing situations for our own amusement. Yes! This might be the 2nd best holiday of the year! (Possible NSFW link for the #1 holiday for men)
In Britain’s The Daily Mail, it was reported that people no longer appreciate practical jokes after age 40. For all you people older than 40, I will add comments below in bold letters, for your benefit, since you no longer appreciate the pranks.
Types of April Fools Jokes: Warning, do not actually do any of these!
1) Tell someone a lie, then say “April Fools!” before they cry. These are quick, easy to do pranks, and mostly harmless. Examples: ‘Dear, you were adopted’, then wait 2 minutes to 2 years, then say ‘April Fools!’ That seems wrong, I don’t even get that.
2) The change-up, variation on the first type. Tell someone a compliment, then reveal the fool. ‘You look pretty today…. April Fools!’ Katharine Hepburn! Now that was a pretty young girl!
3) Quick prank, yet involves minimal setup. Tape the button that keeps the phone hung up, so when the victim answers the phone – it will continue to ring. Will this work with rotary phones?
4) A little more preparation. Cover a person’s desk with water filled paper cups. Then staple the cups together. Weeee. Or tape manets to the bottom of a coffee cup and place on a the top of a person’s car, and people will yell at that person when they drive. Also works with baby carrier and doll, but with more magnets. Always drive 10-15 MPH under the limit for safety!
5) Involve a friend. If you are female, and have a friend that is pregnant – you can use their urine to scare your husband, boyfriend, or buddy. Honey, I think I might be pregnant, let me just go test it. Oh, positive! Aren’t you the lucky Dad! Boyfriend or buddy? I had buddies back in the war, and they didn’t get pregnant, I tell you what.
6) Go for a big prank that makes a statement. Jello Biafra, in one of his excellent spoken word CDs, tells of a prank in San Fransisco that was classic, (facts are based on my memory). Some unknown prankster called news and tv reporters to alert them they represented animal rights activists who organized a large protest that was to take place at a downtown fountain at a certain time the next afternoon, involving the release of many puppies into the city to protest bad animal treatment. They said many celebrities would be there for this protest, including Joe Montana. Of course, there was no protest, and neither celebrities nor puppies were there – but all the newspaper reporters from the area swarmed the fountain with video cameras, blocking traffic for hours and shutting down the city for a bit. I like Jello.
7) A prank well prepared. Change wireless keyboards with your office mate, and type something different when he tries to type. Or remove the refrigerator handle and put it on the other side, and watch people strain to open it. Another tradition is to fill someone’s cubicle or car with lots of something, like peeps, Styrofoam peanuts, or potato salad. Ha wireless keyboards? You are a prankster.
Have fun people. No, don’t have fun, really.