SkeptiSys

April 7, 2011

The Wieners Circle Chicago Restaurant adds abuse/humor to menu (NSFW language)

Filed under: Consume, humor, pictures and videos, Strange — Tags: , , , — skeptisys @ 6:47 pm

In Chicago, a hotdog restaurant owner found out by accident that customers love to be abused, if it is funny.  Their restaurant, the Wieners Circle,  is now famous for the abuse they give out, and take in.  The following hilarious clips use NSFW language – do not watch if you are offended by naughty or racist language.

Dave Attel introduces us to the restaurant in Insomniac (great show from Comedy Central).

A man decides to use a different approach to ordering, leading to side-splitting guffaws.

Sure, The Wieners Circle has its critics, those who say it’s too much or waitresses will show their tops for money, and maybe the health code is not up to par.   I am still eager to visit and get my doggie on.

 

File:Wiener Circle Dog.jpg

April 1, 2011

April Fools Tips

Filed under: Cool other, humor, Strange — Tags: , , , , , — skeptisys @ 1:19 pm

April Fools is the 2nd most important holiday in America.  The most important obviously is March 14, steak&BJ day, which the heretic waitress at Morton’s refuses to observe.  I’m never going back to that place!! according to the court order.  Anyhoo, April Fools…

Up to now, whenever I am asked ‘what is a good joke for April Fools’, my answer is always the same: ‘just pay the friggin toll and move on, you’re blocking traffic, a-hole!’   So now, I decided to come up with some of my own to get you through your dull miserable office day.   Please feel free to use these, as long as you give me credit.

1. ‘Hey boss, I can’t come into the office today because I accidentally shoved a miniature Eiffel Tower into my ass and I can’t get it out.   APRIL FOOLS!  It’s really the Statue of Liberty.’

2.  Bring a rifle to work and start firing while chanting random Bible passages, “Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and there shall be none!”  “Don’t covet your neighbors Shellfish!”.  Then tell the police, ‘APRIL FOOLS!  They are just blanks’.  The cops will be laughing as they book you.  The resulting stories will make you a hit in your prison ward.

3. ‘I am pregnant, it’s yours, and I will name him after you.   APRIL FOOLS, Grandpa, I was on the Pill’.

4. ‘Wilson, I never received that report you claim you put on my desk, and if I don’t get it by next week, it will be reflected in your bonus.’   ‘APRIL FOOLS!  you’re fired’.

5. Punch a small hole into a coffee cup, so that staining coffee will spill out when tilted (dribble cup).  Then at a meeting, spill the coffee all over yourself and say ‘aha you guys, you got me.  Good one.’   People will think you a good sport and others are dicks for making you walk around all day with stains on your pants.  Now wait for your raise and promotion.  Extra tip: when spilling coffee, also pee in pants for extra effect.

6. ‘Knock Knock.  (who’s there?)  April Fools.  (April Fools Who?)  April Fools your dumb CEO ass!’

7. ‘I love all my fellow co-workers and can’t ask for better people.  APRIL FOOLS!  I hate the Negros and Arabs.’  (warning, joke may be considered offensive in Northern United States after 1967.  Only to be used in Midwest and the South U.S. and Australia)

8. Urinate in the coffee.  I love this one.  Then on April First, you don’t pee in the coffee.  Haha!  They will be surprised at how good the coffee tastes on this one day of the year.

9. Smear your body with feces.  Then get some charcoal and write racist things all over your body, making sure to misspell everything.  Call Al Sharpton and he will help with the rest.

10. Now is time to make those racist UCLA videos and tell people you don’t like to F-off (via Jacqueline Howett).  If you do it on April 1st, you can always claim APRIL FOOLS! and you will be seen as a good sport and fun to be around.

That’s my 10 April Fools jokes.  If you do them all, you are guaranteed to be loved and rewarded.  APRIL FOOLS!

Pics from LOLPranks and techcrunch.

October 7, 2010

R.I.P Greg Giraldo

Filed under: humor, life & death, News — Tags: , , , — skeptisys @ 11:22 am

Another of the most talented comedians has stopped performing (excluding an appearance in Weekend and Bernie’s 3).  If you are unfamiliar with Greg Giraldo’s work, start typing into your search engine of preference and laugh away your tears.  To remember Greg, here is a clip from the Cheech & Chong roast.  Warning : you will also die someday!

Greg Giraldo starts at 2:15

June 21, 2009

New Rules for June 18, 2009: Bill Maher gets it right

Filed under: humor, News, pictures and videos, politics — skeptisys @ 10:12 am

I have two reasons to love Bill Maher:

1. I once dated a woman who claimed to have dated Bill Maher, which only about 20% of American men can say.

2. His New Rules segment.

Last night’s New Rules segment was his best in a long time.  Please enjoy.

April 18, 2009

God plans for his journey to earth: What Would Jesus NOT Do?

Filed under: God, humor, life & death, pictures and videos — Tags: , , , , — skeptisys @ 12:29 pm

Nonstampocollector uses sarcasm and humor to try and determine who wrote the Holy Bible, an all knowing and all loving God or ignorant men from thousands of years ago.

Cat finds Jesus.  srsly!

Cat finds Jesus. srsly!

Here is the quote from the Bible regarding the eating of your own children:

The Holy Bible: King James Version. 2000. The Fifth Book of Moses, Called Deuteronomy 28.

53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee:
54 so that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave:
55 so that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat: because he hath nothing left him in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee in all thy gates.
56 The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter,
57 and toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them 2 Kgs. 6.28, 29 · 4.10 for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates.
58 ¶ If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD;

April 8, 2009

Women’s Bathroom Secrets Revealed

Filed under: Buying stuff, Consume, Cool other, humor, pictures and videos, Strange — Tags: , , , — skeptisys @ 9:30 am

So guys, how about that game last night and power drills, tools grout… Ok, good!  Now all women have left us alone, we men can discuss a big puzzling problem we all have with women.  How do they possibly go through all those rolls of toilet paper?!?!?

always wear a fancy hat to church

always wear a fancy hat to church

I mean sure, I use toilet paper every few days or so – but every friggin week I am balancing the 64 giganto roll pack of butt softies around the market, knocking over cans right and left.  I can’t even see over the thing to check out cute women!  (maybe that’s their plan)   Women wonder why we buy so much chili?  It’s to have an excuse for carrying all that stool-sopping cotton rolls.

Oh, your Mom's cooking?  I'm prepared.

Oh, your Mom's cooking? I'm prepared.

Seriously, my girlfriend calls me up to give me this same update every couple days:

1. farting in bed is not as funny as you think it is

2. My Mom doesn’t like to be called willieMcGee, whatever that is.

3. we are out of toilet paper.

Well, here for you men, women’s dirty toilet paper secret finally revealed.  From a hidden bathroom video camera, this footage shows us what women secretly do in the bathroom!   Yes, the secret is out!  Warning, these videos are appalling!

A few (very) cool sites located while doing research for this post: Shape & Colour; Bridge & Tunnel Crowd; and Half-Pint Opinions.

March 20, 2009

Video shows how Congress is dealing with the Economic Crisis

Filed under: cats, humor, pictures and videos, politics — skeptisys @ 9:25 am

This video shows exactly how U.S. Congress has been dealing with the economic crisis.
Click here for video link or see VodPod Video “Congress vs. Depression” on right side panel.

I got it.  I got it.  I got it.... I ain't got it!

I got it. I got it. I got it.... I ain't got it!

TV Fan forums and LiveLeak.

February 2, 2009

Roundhay Garden Scene: The Director’s Cut

Filed under: art, Cool other, humor, pictures and videos — Tags: , , — skeptisys @ 2:59 pm

Filmed in 1888 by Louis Le Prince, “Roundhay Garden Scene” is known to be the world’s oldest surviving motion picture.  Louis was not given full credit for his work at the time, because he ‘disappeared’ on the way to demonstrate his work.  When Louis’ son, Adolphe, protested Thomas Alva Edison’s claim of inventing the motion picture, he too died mysteriously – by gunshot.

Louis Le Prince’s Mother in Law, the first ever movie star, died just 10 days after filming.  No cause of death can be located, but the rumors that she died after a cocaine induced orgy with Roscoe Fatty Arbuckle are probably unfounded.  Her demanding and critical personality was ahead of her time, for a star actress as well as a mother in law.

Luckily, the hard working team at somethingawful have unearthed the deleted scenes from this 1888 classic, which have been lost for over a century.  Just goes to show what you can find at a yard sale.

Here it is for your enjoyment, Roundhay Garden Scene: the Directors Cut:

December 12, 2008

Who will police the police?

out of control prison system

out of control prison system

How do we fight back against a powerful American police and military system run amok?  ‘Kop Busters’, a group fighting back against police corruption, had an entertaining idea.  They decided to run a sting operation that would catch only police corruption.  Noting a rash of police ‘misinformation’ on search warrant requests, Kop Busters decided to ‘plant’ 2 Christmas trees in an apartment without any illegal activity taking place.  Odessa, Texas Police then illegally raided the house and arrested (with no basis) the attorney waiting for them.

Watch a news report on the public service sting operation here:

Read more about it here:

Donklephant.

I expect severe punishment of the police who arrested the attourney without any hint of illegal activity, as well as of any police officer who lied on an official court document to obtain a warrant.  As this is not an isolated incident, but a reaction to a glut of similar suspected  acitivty, I also expect an independent probe into potential corrupt behavior among upper level police and D.A. in Odessa Texas.  God bless these patriots!

Kathryn Johnston age 92, gunned down by police in her own home

Kathryn Johnston age 92, gunned down by police in her own home

November.org has some great info.

Read about Kathryn Johnston, the 92 year old lady who was gunned down by police in riot gear breaking into her home on warrant misinformation, in wikipedia.

October 24, 2008

The best of George Bush: poll

Filed under: humor, politics — Tags: , , , — skeptisys @ 7:49 am
not an easy choice....

not an easy choice....

Let us know what you think is the crowning accomplishment of the Bush administration’s 8 years of work. (click on the link below to vote)

pic via Qazse.

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